「 写真のモデルになって下さい」私の誘いに、多くのお年寄りは、「こんな、じいさん、ばあさんを、撮ってどうするだ～ なにがいいだ～」と、照れくさそうに応える。しかし話は早い。振り向くと、タンスから衣装たる服を持ってきて見せてくれる。そして次は撮影日の取り決めだ。
友人からの誘いで高齢者を撮るようになった。その当時の私には、身近な年寄りといえば祖母だった。おばあちゃん子な私だったが、時折、世代間の違いからか、同じ部屋にいても、違う空気を吸っているように、噛み合ない感じがした。「年寄りってどんなもの …。 年を取るってどんなことだろう…。」違う生き物をみるような好奇心と、いつか自分にもおとずれるであろう老いることへの疑問は、増していった。
曖昧な気持ちから始まった撮影であったが、何人もの高齢者とかかわるうちに、 彼ら “お年寄り” のもつ不思議な魅力に引き込まれていった。それはファッションや、表面上に現れる器用な美しさと対極である。私は、まだ老いるということを的確に語れる年代ではないが、穏やかで優しさに満ちた人生の熟成期なのかもしれない。
高齢化社会の中、活躍するお年寄りもクローズアップされている一方、日々、心身の困難と闘いながら生きる人たちも数多くいる。「長生きも芸のうち」といったものだが、上手く心身の健康を保ち長く自分と付き合うことは、さぞ難しいことであろう。陰気嫌いの祖母は言った。「昔は、八十まで生きれば万々歳。太鼓持ちを呼んでドンチャン騒ぎよ」私の目の前で、粋なポーズを決める姿は、人生の苦悩と喜びが混在した最終章の一コマなのかもしれない。溢れ出る表情は角が取れ、丸みを帯びしなやかである。
To my request, “Would you model for my photographs?” many elderly people respond, slightly abashed, “Now what in the world do you want to do with pictures of an old man, an old woman like me?” And yet once we get going, things move right along. I turn around to see they’ve already gotten some costume out of their wardrobe to show me. Then, you simply decide on a date for the shoot.
I started taking pictures of elderly people after being invited to do so by a friend. At the time, the only elderly person I was close to was my grandmother. We had always been close, but at times I’d feel a kind of disparity between us, perhaps from the generation difference, so that even though we were in the same room, it was like we were breathing different air. “What are old people like? What’s it like to be old?” With the kind of curiosity one might have towards a different species, my questions regarding the inevitable reality of old age, which would eventually come my way too, grew and grew.
Though I had embarked on this photography with rather ambiguous feelings, as I got to know more of them, I found myself being drawn into the intriguing appeal of these “old people.” Theirs was a beauty that starkly contrasts with fashion or other types of adroit, face-value beauty. I am not yet old enough to articulate clearly about what it means to grow old, but I imagine it to be the epoch of life’s maturation, full of serenity and gentleness.
In our aging society, while active contributions by the elderly are much celebrated, there are many others who struggle with troubles in both body and spirit. As the saying goes, “Longevity is a talent.” How challenging it must be to keep up one’s health, both spiritual and physical, and live with oneself for so long. My grandmother, who disliked anything dreary said, “In the old days, if you lived to eighty there was a big celebration. You would hire clowns and have huge festivities.” The stylish pose she struck for me then could have been a still from the final chapter, in which all the hardships and joys of life intermingle. The rich expressiveness emanating from her was polished smooth along the edges, rounded and pliant.
translation by ito haruna